If You Knew You Belonged What Would Change? (Eunuchs and Singleness-Part 4)

Someone once said that when they think of belonging at church they frame it not as "how do I make room for you?" but "I will show you your space." And it honestly took me a while to even understand the difference. But as they explained it they said it's like going over to someone's house and they have a bed made for you, show you where to get your blankets and towels from, where to put away your things and have a place set for you at the table. But then, let's say, you go to another friends house and they say "mi casa es su casa!" and genuinely tell you that "what's mine is yours". They allow you to get what you need, sit

where you want and make a place for yourself in the home, in any room. The first home is not necessarily bad in this example, but we can see that the invitation is different and communicates different things to the person being invited over. The first home has things structured and in place the way they think it needs to be structured for you. The second home gives you the freedom to find your place, try out different spaces and see where you fit best. One "makes room" while the other "shows you your space".

Lan Su Chinese Garden in Portland, OR. Built in China and reassembled in Portland. "Making room" or "showing space"? :)

At first hearing this I really contemplated what this means for hospitality and being the person inviting people over or creating space at church. I want to make sure my posture towards others allows them room to be themselves and make space for themselves, allowing that to shape and change the space around me. As I've continued to ponder this, I've thought more and more about how this also impacts the person invited over or coming into church and told they belong here. What does this mean for them? If I was invited over to the home where they "made room" for me and showed me my specific places to be and exist, I would feel welcomed yes, but would need to make sure I stay inside the boundary lines of what they have set up for me. But, if I was invited over to the "mi casa es su casa" home, I would be called to bring more of my full self to the situation. Being bold and vulnerable in asking for what I need, maybe moving things around for me to be comfortable, knowing who I am, what I need and what I bring to the table and really showing up in that space. It's maybe more messy and awkward in the beginning, but over the long haul I think this leads to more true and genuine belonging.

In Isaiah 56 I believe we find some of the strongest language of belonging and see God "showing people their space" in His family. And, surprise surprise, one of the groups of people that are specifically singled out (no pun intended) and specifically declared part of God's ever expanding family are eunuchs. Now again, we have to remember that eunuchs at this time were those who were dedicated to service of the emperor or queen of the time, castrated to ensure loyalty. This loyalty not only came at a physical cost, but a social and familial one as well. They physically could not have a family, their family name would not live on through them or their children, they did not fit with the regular social norms of the time. On top of that, they could not come to the temple to worship due to their castration (Deuteronomy 23:1), so those eunuchs who wanted to worship God among other worshippers could not. They were on the outside.

But God has this to say:

3 Let no foreigner who is bound to the Lord say,

“The Lord will surely exclude me from his people.”

And let no eunuch complain,

“I am only a dry tree.”

4 For this is what the Lord says:

“To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths,

who choose what pleases me

and hold fast to my covenant—

5 to them I will give within my temple and its walls

a memorial and a name

better than sons and daughters;

I will give them an everlasting name

that will endure forever." (Isaiah 56:3-5, bold mine)

The last couple chapters of Isaiah have been this building crescendo of God calling Israel and the nations into blessing and covenantal relationship. To come and follow His ways and find love, honor and life. Then specific people are named and as is God's consistent heart, those who are outcast, on the outside, are named specifically. The eunuchs of that time could say "I am only a dry tree", incapable of bearing any fruit in life, whether that be children or other goodness, feeling like their exclusion and inability to have children or a family means less than a flourishing life. What could a eunuch possibly have to offer others much less the God who created the universe? But God always has a far better plan than we could ever imagine or think. God promises these things in v. 5 to the eunuchs who are obedient and faithful to Him:

1. Welcome into the temple (no longer on the outside)- Could you imagine reading this at the time? Even thinking back to last week's post about the Ethiopian eunuch that was in the chariot. He was reading Isaiah 53 and overcome with joy when Philip explained to Him how he, too, could be included in the salvation that Jesus brought. And then he would read a bit further to Isaiah 56 and probably be astonished at the level of invitation to Family relationship from the God who created the moon and the stars. If in your singleness you have felt "on the outside" in some way because of that singleness, know that God's desire, God's genuine heart for you, is to have space and be fully included in His Family.

2. A memorial in the temple (remembered and recognized)- Memorials are usually set up for people who have done something significant and people want to honor their memory, not just with telling the story, but with a physical reminder so this person is not easily forgotten. This is the level of acknowledgement God wants to give to those who continue to choose follow God who have been outcasted or shoved aside. God does not want their (your) faithfulness to be forgotten, but to be memorialized. I believe that a single person living wholly committed and contented in God, fully alive, is a beautiful and prophetic life.

3. A name better than sons and daughters (family belonging)- I don't even know how much stronger this language could be. What is a name better than sons and daughters?? It's wild enough that God would even want to call us humans acquaintances with all the wild stuff we do and the harm we cause Him and each other, but it is a "reckless love" that leads God to use family language to try and communicate the kind of relationship He desires with us. And to try and push language to the limits to describe the love and care God invites eunuchs, outsiders, into is like God with open arms saying to you "my child, how I love you."

4. An everlasting name to endure forever (never to be forgotten)- Like the eunuchs of the day when this was written, their name, lineage and family line could be forgotten. Their name could die out along with any honor or privilege that a well-established name would normally get you. And in this passage we don't see specific names of eunuchs listed, maybe in the new heavens and new earth there will be a memorial with eunuchs names on it, but as we've seen there is an undeniable thread throughout the Bible of eunuchs in God's story. In your singleness, you are not forgotten by God. God knows the number of hairs on your head (Luke 12:7), He knows your thoughts before you think them (Psalm 139), He looks on you with love and enjoyment (Numbers 6:24-26). Whether you feel it or not, God sees you and has not forgotten you and shows you your space at His table.

   

   My seminary cohort for 3 years. All married, but never making me feel on the outside because I am single. Truly my brothers and sisters. Proof that God's promises of Family are true.

God has invited you in. If in your singleness people have made you feel like an outcast. Like you aren't quite meeting the mark until you're married. That you won't fully be able to live out your calling until you have a family. That the ultimate way to experience God is through marriage. That something is wrong with you or you're doing something wrong that's keeping you from marriage. Whatever it might be, I hope these promises can start to rewrite those false narratives. No matter what other people may say, God says you have a place here. You are part of this multiethnic, multigenerational church family God is building in the world.

God is "showing you your space". God is inviting you, all of you, including your singleness, to come to the table and live your life for His glory. So, now knowing that you do belong, that God has shown you your space, what will you do with it? If you truly believed you belong, what would change? I encourage you to pray, with God and with others to explore what coming fully alive and owning your space in your singleness looks like for the church. As we've seen in this series your singleness is a gift from God. It's a gift to you, not a mistake. And for however long you are single, I pray you use that gift for your joy and God's glory.

I hope you've enjoyed this 4 part series on eunuchs and singleness! It was fun for me to write and think through for myself and what these things mean for my life. I'd love to hear how any of these posts have impacted you, caused you to think differently or even view your singleness in a different light. Have a great week!