Holidays, Traditions and Chariots. (Eunuchs and Singleness- Part 3)

Every year for as long as I can remember, holidays at my grandma's house have been the same. Thanksgiving day there's always a dinner, and everyone knows it happens at my grandma's house. One, because its a space that's actually big enough to fit everyone and two because it's the home that these traditions have always been done in (at least in my conscious memory). Christmas Eve has also always been the same. Everyone usually has Christmas day plans with other various parts of their family or friends, so Christmas Eve is that sacred space of family and togetherness. And both holidays are filled with warm and cozy grandma-style decorations, home made food, stories and memories shared around the table and some form of games (family favorites are Rock Band, Catchphrase and any trivia game).

One of the things, though, that I have been really proud of about my family is that as my sister and cousins and I have gotten older we've been able to invite over friends to enjoy these family moments with us. And without a direct conversation the sentiment has been "anyone that will be alone or who doesn't have a loving family space to go to is welcome here, invite them." And it has been so fun to see the various people over the years who have come into my grandma's house. Active and retired Marines, band mates, fellow therapists, friends with cute dogs, some who have come for one year and some who have been coming for years and now are expected to come. Those who are invited are always thought of when it comes to food and, at Christmas, presents. My grandma makes sure there's enough food to go around and those coming usually pitch in with some dish that is meaningful to them. My mom, cousins and grandma also make sure that no one is left out when presents are opened, even if they have never met this person before, they buy a little something so they feel thought of and included in the family.

Philip and the Ethiopian Eunuch

This is what it looks like to invite people into your "chariot" and to accept invitations into unknown "chariots", so to speak*. In Acts 8 we read about Philip, a follower of Jesus and evangelist of the good news of the kingdom of God, who is lead by the Spirit to a road where he comes across a rich and prominent eunuch of the Queen of Sheba (see first post for the explanation of eunuchs and how this relates to singleness and connection).

At this point in history, Saul, a Jewish Pharisee bent on eliminating Christians for the sake of holiness, had not met and surrendered to the way of Jesus yet(see Acts 9 for the full story). Saul (Paul) would eventually become a great evangelist and teacher to the Gentiles, proclaiming how they now, through the death and resurrection of Jesus, could be part of God's family. Also, around this same time, Peter, one of the original 12 disciples, had not had his dream from God that lead to the Jewish leaders to officially announce that Gentiles could be grafted into God's family. So, Philip approaching this Ethiopian eunuch (a Gentile) would be a pretty meaningful thing.

When Philip approaches the chariot of the eunuch two things happen that I believe are important for us to see. One, Philip hears the eunuch reading the Scriptures aloud (Isaiah 53:7-8 to be exact) and despite the fact that this eunuch would be a type of "other" to

Philip, Philip offers to help him understand what he is reading. Second, the Ethiopian eunuch "invited Philip to come up and sit with him" in his chariot (Acts 8:31). Philip accepts, and this encounter leads to Philip explaining the hope and invitation of believing in the good news of Jesus and this eunuch getting baptized into the family of God. So beautiful.

Now, I believe there are so many layers to this story. I believe the overall story is about God's love that transcends race, class, socioeconomic status, culture, etc. to reach anyone and everyone with the good news of the kingdom of God and the sacrifice of Jesus. I also believe that from the two points I just named above there are some specific realities/invitations that singles and non singles can engage with.

Philip goes to the chariot of the "other" and offers connection and hope (Acts 8:30-31, 35-38)- During the holidays it can be easy to stay in our own chariots. Some of us have our traditions, our routines and things planned out to be just so, and there's nothing wrong with that! Traditions are good and needed and are something that helps to create a sense of unity and togetherness. There are so many family traditions in my family that I am so thankful for. But we also don't want the routine of tradition to be a barrier to people that God may want you to invite in. Because, there are also some people who don't have the beauty and warmth of family traditions. Singles who maybe recently became single due to a breakup or divorce and don't really have that place of family. Singles who are living far from home for work or school and just can't travel back to the place where they would want to be. Singles who maybe do have family to be with but time together is more out of obligation that genuine connection and love.

I would have two encouragements here. First, to non-singles who have a home, a place of family, a place that has room for more to belong. Invite people into your chariot. Who do

A friend who needed a home to come to for the holidays :)

you know, what singles or "others" do you know that need this invitation? To feel like they have a place to belong, to be seen, to share in the sense of family that you've created? Maybe take the time to plan for and set some extra places at your table this year for those people. In the spirit of Philip who approached a chariot of an Ethiopian eunuch.

Second, to singles who are feeling lonely or like you have no place to go or belong during the holidays, let people know. This blends into my second point coming up but not only did Philip walk up to the chariot and ask about what the eunuch was reading, but the eunuch also extended the invitation and asked for help. He asked for what he needed. I think sometimes as singles we can believe the narrative that we are alone, or a burden or just have to "figure it out" on our own while everyone else enjoys their family. And some of us are so good at that that people believe us! They believe that we are ok and don't need anything, so people don't think to invite us. This happens to me a lot as I am the quintessential "strong friend", so I have to work extra hard to let people know what I need and when I need them. So singles, don't be afraid to ask your brother's and sister's in God's family for what you need and allow people the opportunity to show the love and hospitality of Jesus to you :).

The Ethiopian eunuch invites Philip into his chariot (Acts 8:31)- Not only is this important for us singles to remember that sometimes we have to ask people into our chariot, ask people for what we need, but also because there are some of us who can actually be the ones to create spaces of belonging and home. Those singles who maybe also have a home, space or even a desire to create a space, create a chariot for people to come to! I was in a community group with a couple people who were both single but had a home that was specifically designed and set up to invite over the "other", the lonely, the outcast. Holidays were spent around a long table of known and new people, all looking for that place to belong and it was beautiful. This could be a get together of 3 people or 30 people! Chariots come in all shapes and sizes.

One of my Friendsgiving tables. Complete with an office chair so everyone had a seat! haha

There's a great article called "Homemaking is for Singles Too" by TGC that really gets at this idea that singles aren't left out of homemaking. We can sometimes assume that it takes a classic family and home to engage in hospitality, but that's simply not true. Hospitality and generosity are for everyone and some singles may even have more ability to do this than if they did have a family! Let that creativity flow for the holidays. Be the eunuch who also invites people in :)

So, this holiday season I hope that the family of God truly lives out the prayer and reality of Jesus that we see in Mark 10: 29-30:

“Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life. (bold and italics mine)

We have this promise of family and homes to be invited into, but this only happens when we all participate in this vision and trust that this is what helps to create the Family that God knows we all crave. I'm so looking forward to the food, memories, laughs, new and old faces that I'll get to see and invite to my family's table. Whatever chariot you spend the holidays in and whoever is in that chariot with you, I hope its a chariot of love, belonging and joy :)

*I have to credit this idea of getting into peoples chariots to Carlos Whittaker, a Christian who is all about seeing and loving each other's humanity and has been so encouraging to me on how to live out the love of Jesus practically :)