Chat With Me (Pt. 3)

Icebreaker

Q: What excites you?

At the SWI vs. AUS friendly international match at Snapdragon Stadium, SD

A: Well, at the time I am writing this the 2026 World Cup is happening and that has been sooo exciting! I grew up playing soccer and truly love playing and watching the game, so to get to do that with the whole of the U.S. is really fun. One of the things off the field that I've been really excited about is how the World Cup is bringing out the best in the U.S. People from all over the world are coming here to cheer on their teams and sharing their experiences from all over the states and having such a great time! Some people are even trying to encourage Americans to have more pride in our country and that the chaos of politics doesn't define us. So, all of that has made me really hopeful for the future and how people in our country connect with and cheer for games in this sport that is bringing people together. America might not become a soccer country like Italy or Argentina, but people will at least know where to come for some of the best watch parties, hospitality and fun :)

Stories

Q: Who can you confide in or what services can you use when you experience new seasons or challenges in life?

A: As a therapist and a Christian this is a question I think about a lot! In both therapy and in following Jesus, community and support are a central part of human flourishing. We are not meant to do this life alone. I am so grateful for the friends and family I have that I know will support me and come to be with me no matter where I am or the time of day. In one of my previous posts I wrote about a surgery I had recently and how thankful I was for the many people that showed up for me emotionally, but also very practically. I am also grateful to attend a church that highly emphasizes community, connection and unity, so I know I have many spaces to be seen and heard.

Additionally, I have had an amazing therapist over the last 3 years! I started a new round of therapy when I moved to San Diego and cannot put into words how comforting and transformative it was to have that space to work through things. A couple months ago I "graduated" from therapy (yes, that's a thing!) and know I can always go back when I need :)

Interpretation:

Q: When the irresponsible prodigal son returned, his father showered him with gifts and affection. The responsible son was confused, upset and perhaps jealous (Luke 15). How can you celebrate when others are blessed by God, even when you don't think they deserve it?

A: Honestly, this is one of my favorite parables Jesus tells. There is so much depth and so much application when you dig into it, it's so fun to explore the wisdom packed into it! Jesus here is comparing the Pharisees (Jewish religious leaders of His day) to the "responsible son" and "tax collectors and sinners"(Luke 15:1-2) to the "irresponsible son". Jesus is calling out the judgement and dismissal of the Pharisees towards sinners who are coming to hear Jesus's words. Jesus wants to make the point that the Pharisees should not judge people based on human standards of worthiness, because in God's eyes those who simply have faith are the ones God accepts, it is not something that can be earned. You see, the Pharisees were the religious leaders who strictly followed all the laws and rituals and

thought very highly of themselves, but they were missing the love, grace and mercy of God's heart towards others. In another similar situation when the Pharisees are appalled that Jesus is eating with sinners, Jesus says "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners" (Mark 2:17).

Community picnic. Living life with people receiving different blessings from God all the time. We are all in this together!

So, all that to say, when we as singles see others getting things we don't think they deserve (a spouse, a job promotion, a close group of friends), we have a choice. We can take on the mindset of the world and cast our own judgement on whether we think they deserve those things or not, OR we can take on the mindset Jesus invites us to. A mindset that knows that God is good to all His children and is a God of abundance. God is also working and moving in peoples lives and hearts in ways we could never see. Just because others get things does not mean there is less for us and we also have to acknowledge we truly have no idea what God is doing in their lives. Whatever emotions we feel (anger, jealousy, envy, etc.) we can honestly take to God, but then want to bring our hearts to loving our brothers and sisters and loving our neighbor, which includes celebrating others' blessings.

Dating Topic

Q: What are some of the joys and challenges of dating?

A: So to answer this question I have to think back some years because I haven't been actively in the dating scene for a while! And this hasn't necessarily been because of any strong aversion to or rejection of it, it just hasn't been a focus amongst school, work, travel and all the other life things. If I were to start putting more energy and effort into dating now, though, I think some challenges for me would be finding decent places to meet decent people lol. A few years ago it was easier with school rhythms, but its harder now. Personally, dating apps and bar life aren't for me and I don't think either make for finding deeper connections, but it seems like that's where most people go (not saying it can't happen, just seems more difficult). In San Diego there are so many different things to do and places to go, but where do you go to meet other singles? I've seen different ads on my Instagram feed pop up for some in person singles/dating events, so maybe that would be where to start! haha. I think another challenge is simply the energy of it. It can be exhausting to continuously put yourself out there and either feel rejected, judged or just not click with anyone. I hear from friends that this can be very draining and discouraging.

I think a joy of dating is just getting to know other people and their stories, whether you end up with someone or not, it can be so fun to just connect with others! It could even lead to connecting with some potential good friends. This is one of the things I love about travel when you start to chat to people around you, you get to hear cool stories and adventures they have been on. The same could be true of dating, especially here in San Diego where people come from all over. This would probably be the mindset I would have to hold onto in the dating process, just getting to genuinely know people and focus more on who the person is instead of analyzing right away whether we are a match or not. That can put too much pressure on things.

Those are my thoughts with dating but as I said I'm not actively in that space right now! I would love to hear some joys/challenges of dating some of you might be having. Drop them in a comment below :)

Cheers to you out in the dating world! haha

Thanks for tuning in to another "Chat With Me" installment! I hope some of these responses have been validating or thought provoking, share any reactions you had below or send to me in an email at singleandwholeblog.com :)