Room to Expand
"I came that they may have life and have it abundantly" -Jesus (John 10:10, ESV)
It's wild to think about but in just a couple months I will have been living in San Diego for 4 years. The time has gone by so quickly but feels like a lifetime of things have happened. Starting a new job, starting and completing seminary, becoming a community
group leader, trying countless new restaurants, coffee shops, parks, etc. San Diego doesn't let me get bored! haha. One big milestone that has also happened recently is coming to a point in my own personal therapy journey where I feel ready to fly the nest. I call it "graduating" from therapy which can be a bittersweet thing. I have been in therapy on and off over the last 10 years for various things, but coming to San Diego I was ready to do some deep dive work and its been difficult but so life changing. Now that journey has come to a close and I feel like a completely different person than when I started.
In my final session a couple weeks ago, I was reflecting on my time in San Diego as a whole and was talking about how since moving from my hometown, my world has expanded. The way I see myself, other people, God, life, etc. You know, all the big existential things that come up in therapy haha. Like I said above I've gone through so many new experiences that have brought this growth and shift in perspective, tried so many new things and as you all know I love to travel and that never fails to expand the way I think about the world. And as I reflected on the past few years I was excited for how life is and will continue to expand. I'm excited and hopeful for where God will lead me next and what new adventures are waiting.
I say all this not just to talk about how great my life is, but to encourage you that expansion and deep, satisfying life is available as a single. I think there can be a trap that we can fall into that assumes that the biggest and most fulfilling, deepening experience in this life is with a romantic partner. That only with a significant other, maybe some kids, maybe owning a home or travelling together is what will truly expand your world and help you experience this life to the full. The only problem with this thought is that it doesn't quite line up biblically. There's actually more to the story, hallelujah!
In the Bible Paul talks about both the "profound mystery" of marriage (Eph 5:32) and also the gift and unique relationship with God that one gets as a single (1 Cor 7). And Jesus says in John 10 that when we allow Him to be the Shepherd of our lives, the One who cares for, protects and guides us in this life, we actually have access to life "abundantly"(John 10:10). This word in this verse can also mean "excessive". Jesus wants to give us an excessive life. And nowhere in this verse is this promise and desire of the heart of Jesus dependent on relationship status. Again, marriage- beautiful. Singleness- also beautiful. Both relational states have the potential and ability to lead you into an abundant, excessive and expansive life.
Do you believe this? Have you been told this? Has this promise of abundance been shared with you in your singleness? If not, Jesus is speaking to you today. Inviting you allow Him to expand your categories and break down barriers to your fullest flourishing. Inviting you to boldly and bravely trust Him in doing things that may seem like they don't make sense relationally. Maybe you are longing for a spouse and you feel the Spirit nudging you
to take a job somewhere new, but you worry you won't be able to connect with someone there. Trust Jesus. Maybe you are a single and the Spirit is nudging you to lean into serving or being part of a friend group that takes more of your time that you usually use for socializing to find a spouse. Trust Jesus. Whatever it is today, know that God's heart for you is abundance. His heart for you is expansion.
One of the main reasons I started this blog was so that you would be able to know a single person who is living this with you. The encouragements I share with you are things that I need encouragement in to. And also, the experiences of being single but satisfied in God are also real. They are attainable for you. I'm not sharing these experiences as long ago blips in my life but as my reality here and now. If you follow Jesus, then we follow the same God of expansion and abundance. Allow yourself to be swept up in the momentum of life with Jesus and watch yourself come fully alive.
"The glory of God is a human being fully alive." - St. Irenaeus
(After I wrote this blog I realized a few weeks ago God urged me to write one with a similar invitation. When God repeats Himself I've learned to listen. Check out that other post here and see what speaks to you!)
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