Celebrations for Singles

Hello and happy holiday season to you all! Hope you are reading this blog today with a full belly and a full heart or are at least looking forward to some fun plans :) I've spent the week finishing up work and then packing up and driving back to my childhood home (cue all the hilarious memes about being in your childhood home as a 30 year old sleeping on your childhood bed lol). Today's post will be a bit shorter as I am trying to practice rest and

having boundaries with needing to be productive all the time (yay for being a recovering perfectionist). Nonetheless I hope these thoughts today spark some joy and creativity in the lives of both singles and nonsingles.

This holiday season comes with so many celebrations, and not just for the holidays themselves. Around this time our feeds and phones start to fill up with baby announcements, engagements, big wedding plans for the new year, etc. It can be such a fun time to be in the joy of it all. It can also be a time of tension for singles as well. All of the celebrations I named above are for those who are engaged or married. Those in a relationship. Those celebrations are fairly built into the rhythms of a relationship and staples of the relationship journey. And just like having ceremonies for big things like a graduation or a quincenera and things like that, I believe that having these moments to pause and celebrate big life moments are so important.

The tension comes in because living as a single, there aren't the same built in celebrations like there are for those who are in relationships. And if you are single long term

Grad trip to the UK to celebrate finishing seminary

you spend a lot of time going to these celebrations for others and can possibly start to feel left out or that your life isn't quite that exciting. This isn't something for people in relationships to feel bad about, but actually an opportunity for both singles and nonsingles to think more intentionally about the celebrations and rhythms in the life of singles. AKA this is a chance for all of us to think how to throw more parties and celebrations ;) whoohoo!

So, since singles won't have the typical celebrations like engagement parties and anniversaries and all that, what things should be celebrated? As with most things, the answer is "it depends"! haha this will depend on what is important to you and what's valuable to you in your life. If you are a single person passionate about fostering animals, then have a celebration to mark the moment when one of your animals gets adopted. Celebrating both the new life of that animal as well as the care and time you put into caring for that animal. If you are more of an academic, celebrate the graduation, celebrate finishing a dissertation, celebrate paying off your student loans! haha.

I remember earlier this year when I was talking to a friend about being excited to finish seminary, without hesitation she said "omg, we have to have a party for you. This is such a big accomplishment!" And in that moment I felt so cared about and seen. In my head I was telling myself "I've graduated with other things in the past, I don't want to be selfish or seem like I'm seeking attention my celebrating another graduation" and I didn't even plan

Family and friends who flew to Oregon to see me graduate and celebrate for the weekend

on doing anything. But this friend helped me to see that these moments in life matter and deserve to be celebrated. And her taking the initiative to suggest and offer this made me feel loved and cared for.

So, what are some other things to potentially celebrate? Here are more of my suggestions:

• Birthdays!! Let people celebrate the fact that you were born and brighten up the world ;)

• Job promotions/ Getting a new job

• Moving (housewarmings or having a last gathering in the place you will be leaving)

• Recognition at work or school

• Conquering a fear

• Doing a first performance (dance, standup, a play, etc.)

• Celebrating health milestones/achievements (sobriety, good test results, recovering after surgery)

• "Just Because" celebrations (A new movie or series came out so you have a themed get together for that movie/show, celebrating doing a very adult thing like opening a retirement account or paying your bills on time, making it to work on time for the last month haha)

What's important to you?? Your life and culture might look different than mine, so be creative! As a single, what are things that you want to mark a moment for? Nonsingles, what are things in your single friends' lives that you can recognize? And celebrations don't always have to be big parties, but just something that makes the moment or achievement special. As the writer of Ecclesiastes reminds us, there is "a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing..."(Ecclesiastes 3:4-5). As a single, don't neglect the times to laugh, dance and embrace :).